just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
