are you still at the devil's house?
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
