at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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