True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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