u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
worst night to have a conscience
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
