Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
