3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
