and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
