I just threw up on my dentist
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
