I'm jealous of your bromance
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
