I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
