don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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