I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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