I could make wine with my vomit
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
