I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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