I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
