She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
