I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
