so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
