Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
