We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize