remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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