I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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