Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
