I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
