I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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