Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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