i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
