At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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