Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
