did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I am midnight drunk by noon
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
