Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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