I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize