Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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