Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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