I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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