new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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