I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Bring me that man meat
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize