after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
