Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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