Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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