That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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