k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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