My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
