It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize