ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
