He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize