when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
did i just pee glitter
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize