4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
