He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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