butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
