So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
