butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
God, I missed his penis.
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