Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
