If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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