he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
