Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
