I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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