I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize