Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
