i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
