sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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