Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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