thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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