I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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