ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize