I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
